CULTIVATING A POSITIVE MINDSET
Positivity has been misconstrued at times with people interpreting a positive mindset as needing to be overly positive all the time, which it's not really about. In fact, if we feel the need to be positive all the time, or to prove to the world how positive we are, this can be an indication that we're hiding some unhappiness or angst.
Here are two definitions on a positive mindset that you might find helpful. This definition from Remez Sasson (n.d.) is a good general description:
“Positive thinking is a mental and emotional attitude that focuses on the bright side of life and expects positive results.”
Another, more comprehensive definition comes from Kendra Cherry at Very Well Mind (2017B):
“[P]ositive thinking actually means approaching life’s challenges with a positive outlook. It does not necessarily mean avoiding or ignoring the bad things; instead, it involves making the most of the potentially bad situations, trying to see the best in other people, and viewing yourself and your abilities in a positive light.”
Having a positive mindset is really referring to our overall outlook on life and choosing to make positive thinking a habit.
Our mind falls on the negative bias and we are programmed for survival. We aren’t naturally programmed to see through a positive lens but it is possible to train our mind to have a positive outlook.
How can we cultivate a positive mindset?
It’s important to note that we’re not trying to discount or avoid tough feelings, emotions and moments in our life. We must feel everything and not shut things away by being overly positive.
What we are trying to cultivate is a mindset that isn’t defensive, that doesn’t play the victim card, that doesn’t blame, that isn’t saying ‘why me’, or saying ‘I have such bad luck’.
It’s ok if these narratives come up, we are only human! This is an invitation to NOTICE the stories you are telling yourself in your mind.
Everything we tell ourselves is just a story. How can we turn the story into a positive one? How can we shift to see the story from a different perspective? Really that is all it is, PERSPECTIVE.
We can cultivate a positive mindset through these practices.
Appreciation - appreciate, appreciate, appreciate what you do have! Stop looking at what you lack.
Trust - trust that everything will be ok and you will be ok.
Acceptance - accept the moment as it is.
Expectation - release expectation. People don’t need to live up to our standards.
Compassion - be compassionate towards yourself and others and celebrate yourself.
See the good in the moment and in others.
Begin to notice your tendencies; get really honest with yourself.
Begin to question every single story you are telling yourself. Treat it as a game. Have a laugh at yourself as you begin to notice the same narratives and outlooks cropping up.
Only with greater awareness of self can we begin to notice our mind and it’s tendencies.
A meditation practices is a great way to harness the skill of noticing and becoming more aware of thoughts. You might like to try the below meditation or flow on my platform.