Understanding and befriending fear
Fear is a part of our programming. It one of the reasons why humanity has survived and thrived.
Why we’re governed by fear?
We all have a negative bias. Our mind naturally falls on the negative bias as a way to protect us. Noticing the worst in a situation is our natural response and default mode that all of us humans have unless we consciously reprogram our brain.
Our nervous system is programmed for survival and is constantly scanning our environment for fear. It’s looking for predators that we need to run from but these days it’s that email from your boss or tax bill we received.
The above two points working in tandem can really perpetuate negative feels and thinking. Our thinking is directly related to our emotions and feelings and vs versa. Feelings in the body will trigger thoughts in the mind and sustain thoughts in the mind.
We need to find a little bit of space between our thoughts and the feeling in the body to process and shift our emotional state.
How to overcome fear?
Step 1 : Choose something that you’re afraid of. e.g. I’m afraid of public speaking.
Step 2 : Get curious and ask yourself questions. e.g. Why am I afraid to public speak? What am I afraid of happening?
Step 3 : Notice the story you are telling yourself. Accept that this is just a story and not TRUE! It’s a self-limiting belief. (The story could be ‘I’m going to fall flat on my face’ ‘I’m going to come across so badly’ and the belief behind this is that ‘I can’t do it’)
Step 4 : Rewire the belief ‘I am 100% capable of doing this’. Lean into this new belief, tune into the body and feel what this belief feels like in the body.
Step 5 : Reframe the story ‘No one is going to judge me’, ‘I’m going to give this my best shot and that’s all I can do’, ‘I’ve got this’, ‘I would rather do this than not do this’ etc.
Use an affirmation such as ‘I am capable’ to shift and block what’s happening in the mind.
Step 6 : Do it anyway!
I know step 6 is hard but at some point we need to just do it so we can grow. If you need a helping hand go and get it, there is NO shame in that. This is so important!
Courage over confidence to overcome self-limiting beliefs that are holding you back and stopping you from shining.
Try the above with different fears you have and NOTICE what is TRUE and what ISN’T about the story.